With the luck I've been having it could only get worse.
Although, I sure hope it doesn't!
This week has been far from great. It's actually been a pretty shitty week other than the fact that I had a very good dinner Tuesday night and went to the gym twice. I got to add in some Zumba, at least for an hour, and I didn't have to think about school and instead think about how pathetic I must look trying to do all the salsa steps.
Those steps are harder than they look!
I try to remain positive but this week has just gone all wrong. On top of all the other lame things that have gone on my glasses broke! It would have been okay seeing as I had contacts until I realized I have one pair left and the the last pair that I had been using had a rip so let's see how long these last before I have to go either order more or fix my glasses.
I have a retreat this coming Sunday and I'm actually really really looking forward to it because I can be on my own for 5 hours and just meditate and reflect on myself with NO INTERRUPTIONS. No one knocking on my door telling me to help make dinner. No calls to see how my day has gone. No one asking if I can tie their shoes.
Call me selfish but after the week I had I can use some time alone. Hence, why I didn't go to school today. I'm done with the topic of school, even if it is just for this weekend.
I am sick of talking about school, going to school, THINKING ABOUT SCHOOL.
I need a break even though really, there are things I have to do. So I did them. I had send out a housing application. So i did. I'll review some of my notes for AP Econ later and call it a day. Well. No. I have some math stuff I can get done. Might as well.
I'm aware that my week compared to the week other people have gone through, especially those in Japan can hardly be considered horrible.
I think sometimes about how pathetic it might be to feel so down over things like this when there are people fighting off bigger and more important problems.
disasters. diseases. problems at home. what be it.
However, it doesn't make me hurt any less and if sleeping for a day and blogging helps me feel better, so be it. If I don't answer my phone it's not because it's off, I probably just don't want to talk. I'm aware I can't bring on blame to other people. That's not fair. I can't put the blame on people who don't deserve it simply because I feel like
So, in turn, I'll take time to myself and do my own thing until I'm ready to leave behind this shitty mood.
A period of mourning if you will.
With that said and done, have I mentioned that I have some of the most annoying neighbors?
I can't believe I didn't notice how annoying they are until now.
For one, they have a dog that barks like mad. The little side doors? part of the fence that some people have to lead to the side of the house? They obviously don't know that you can CLOSE that because when it's windy it's swinging back and forth all day and the little lock just clinks against the door and it drives me crazy. Two days ago they were playing the drums so loud I was getting a headache just imagining how it must sound being INSIDE their house. Yesterday, the country music. The same song. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Of course, it's my luck that my room is the only one that is closest to them, my window is above the drive way and so close so I can hear everything.
HELP!
Anyway, that is it for now.
I'll probably post something up later.
-D
D, I guess there may be something to the full moon effect or something in the air 'cause I had a similar week or feeling that is. So I know what you mean. And it's okay to be a little "selfish" every now and then to take care of you. At least you are realizing that now at your age where it has taken me a lot longer to realize what you are realizing now.
ReplyDeleteThere are times where yeah, I say the same thing "my problems are nothing compared to..." but that is just it my problems are my problems that still does not make them any less, so you know what I mean.
And yeah as for the neighbors, I know. I used to sometimes concentrate on the traffic sound that sound so much like the roar of the ocean so it made me feel like I was at the beach. I know it's a reach, but it worked for me. At my age, "still with a creative imagination." lol.
You know one day that all will be nostalgic. I know it's hard to believe. Not sure if I had shared this with ya or not, so here it goes.
When I lived with my parents in Watts, there was always noise like cholos and their loud music, the chaos of gunshots or the "ghetto bird that roamed the skies with that bright shining light". When I moved to UCLA and stayed in the dorms, there was a time when I wondered why I could not sleep. There was deafening silence, you could not hear a church mouse, and yet there was me, tossing and turning realizing that I had become accostumed to that "noise in the hood" that use to lull me to sleep. LOL.
Crazy ugh?
Well D, you keep posting and I'll keep reading. Hugs from me to you.
Glad you are taking care of you. V
Ugh! I had a long comment written in response and I pressed the wrong key on my keyboard and it went POOF!
ReplyDeleteLong story short, thank you for reading my blog. It makes me feel a lot better someone else takes interest in my little rants but sometimes it is the only thing that helps me feel better.
This past week has really made me realize that things don't always turn out the way we expect them to and also that my chances at doing what I wanted to do are not entirely "gone". I just have to go about in a different way.
Things could always be worse!
I know exactly what you mean about the noise, it's the things we would least expect to stick with us that do!
Hope this week turns out better for you! :)
-D