Adam's 3rd Birthday Party

Day 13: Discuss some of the things on your bucket list.

- Go to Greece
- Live in NYC
- Sit front row seat at a Lady Gaga concert
- Graduate from graduate school
- Have a dog
- Stand up for a stranger
- Stay over night on a boat that's not a cruise in the middle of the ocean
- Go on a road trip with only one other person across the U.S.
- Do something live changing for someone else
- Be the best person I can be
- Write a book
- Sell my book to at least 1 person!
- Direct a movie


more to come!

Day 12: Something you hope to change about yourself and why.

I wish I was more...outgoing.

I think it definitely has to do with the fact I great up in a household where I was the youngest. My sisters were in their late teens, early twenties and my brother was 16.  I grew up with many "mom and dad" like figures and I think that has a lot to do with the way I am today.  Each holds certain expectations and treats you a certain why and honestly, how can you live with many adults without at some point acting like one also?

I've learned to embrace who I am as a person, my personality and my likes. I don't feel like I need to be another way to satisfy the way of others. Those who know me well know who I am and how I am and I'm definitely not the type to change for anyone.

However,  I would like to be a little more...free.

You know when you feel this...loose feeling? when you're so comfortable you could do whatever, whenever and not care who is watching? I'd like to be like that...to some extent.

Sometimes I feel like I have this weight on me. I imagine it, but I can feel it. When I want to do something that's a bit to crazy for my standards I can feel it weighing me down, preventing me from doing so.  I think if I was a little more 'free' I'd have a lot more fun.

That's not to say I don't have fun now because I do, it would just be a different type of fun.

I hope to change this as I go off to college. It's a new setting. New people. I hope to grow out of it and  really make the effort to change-to some extent.

I would also like to learn to make GOOD PANCAKES.
Something so insignificant yet is bothers me so much.

How can I NOT know how to make a good pancake?!
am I that much of a loser!?

-D

GAGA

Who bought BORN THIS WAY? ME!

Day 11: Something about which people seem to compliment you.

This is a good topic because just this week I had a teacher, whom I never would have taken for one to go out of her way to say something not-math-related to a student, come up to me and compliment me.

I was sitting at my desk getting ready for class to begin and she walked over and told me I looked very nice that day and how she noticed I always looked so well put together and matching and how I had a gift for dressing myself.

She asked me if I liked to design clothes and I had to bite back a laugh because it's far from that!

I hardly spend time on what I'm going to wear. On that particular day I had woken up at 7:29am [ VERY LATE] and threw on whatever I could find and brushed my teeth, put on some earrings and ran to the car.

I don't think I even brushed my hair.....maybe.

Anyway. I've often gotten complimented on the way I dress. I've been complimented on my hair, my legs...

-shrugs-


-D

Take a bite out of the sweet things in life.

Just because I think it's cute and the cupcake was really good.

Day 10: Something at which you've been a champion or the best.

I'm really good at putting babies and little kids to sleep.
I'm really good at technical computer related stuff.
I'm really good at making albondigas.
I'm decent at making pastas. I like to experiment too much.


I'm the best at...hm.

That's a good question. I don't think I've ever really stopped to think what I'm the best at.
I think I am pretty decent at writing. My cooking isn't all that bad.

I'm a champion at texting! :P


Goodness. It's sad how this is a really hard question for me to answer.


I'll sleep on it.
-D

Adam turns 3

 The Birthday Boy!

 My sweet boy Adam turns 3 today.

Gone are the days when Maria and I could 

put him on top of the changing table and take pictures of him while he slept.

Gone are the boys when I could rock him to sleep.

Gone are the days when I could swaddle him up and carry him around like a burrito.

Gone are the days with baby Adam.

He started school this year and when I think about it I'm still amazed at how fast he grew.

I feel like it was only yesterday we all sat anxiously in the hospital waiting room and 

I saw him for the first time-  pink and perfect. 

Although, I guess him growing up fast could be expected having an older brother and 2 older nephews.

I'm always shocked at how much he knows.

As he grows older I can really see his personality begin to become more obvious.

He definitely has his temper but he is also the sweetest boy ever.

As he grows, so does my love for him.

I love the way he smiles.

I love the way he laughs.

I love the way he talks.

I love the things he says.

I love the way he sleeps.

I love the way he eats.

I love the way he drinks.

I love the way he is so protective of his things.

I love how he hides when I get in the car and then whispers "I'm right here!"

I love how he is such a happy kid and has so much love in him.

I love EVERYTHING about him

He brings me so much happiness and joy.

His smile is pure honey.

He is positively irresistible.

Baby Adam

 I love you Adam

Happy Birthday!

Pictures!

I don't got nothin' to say. YET. :P
I had this whole little "situation" that would have been perfect to write about but in turn I told my friend and then I thought it would be LAME to post a blog about it. So...

I took TONS of pictures yesterday during and after Matthew's First Communion.

My guy is all grown up and super cute!
He felt so special and we were all so proud.

So, without further do....TAH-DAH!

1/4 of the family

Look at my all spiffy in my suit!

This guy was up until the wee hours of the morning

Add caption

My Parents. Doesn't my dad look ADORABLE?

Matthew and his God-Parents

they were SO delicious!

side note. THE FONT OF MY BLOG.

I don't know why in the world this font makes a slash for a comma, an exclamation mark and almost every other form of punctuation!

it drives me CRAZY.

but it's a cute font so I don't think I'll change it just yet. :P

-D

Day 09: Vacation Hiatus/ Growing Up

 

It's Matthew's First Communion today!

It's so funny how as I look back on all the boys...MY BOYS... and am thoroughly shocked at how much they have grown I don't really take notice of myself getting older. 

oh man, what smiles!

Sure, I notice my face has changed a little here and there and my smile has an older feel to it but it's not until I look at my boys and see how big they are getting that I realize how much older I, myself, am getting as well.

Brandon is off to middle school next year, Matthew  is already making his first communion and Kevin is speeding through chapter books like nobodies business...it's not until I realize all these things that I have to stop for a moment and go WOW! I'm off to college next year!

It's a crazy thought. Time really does go by fast.

The other day I was reading some article about the different types of eligible guys that will stay single and not be able to commit to a relationship and get married and I was shocked to realize that in 10 years I'll be 28! Before I would say that I would want to get married by 25 but now it's like...okay, that's in 7 years! that's TOO SOON! 

Oh man. I'm so used to being the younger, smaller sister.  The mature one for her age. Not the one that is almost right up in there with adulthood! 

Oye Vey! 

-D

Day 08: Vacation Hiatus

you... you make my dreams come true.

Day 07: Vacation Hiatus

CIAO.

-D

My Best Friend.

 KASSANDRA AND DAISY

 

"As childhood friends, we grew up together,
Swearing to be friends forever and ever.
Sometimes we would argue and fight,
Other times we would laugh and stay up all night.

We went from playing with games and toys,
To talking and dreaming about different boys.
My thoughts and feelings, to you I would confide,
Never having anything to hide.

Friends we do remain,
Things changing, and things staying the same.
To each other we still listen and share,
About each other, we will always care."

by Mindy Carpenter

hahah I can hear Kassandra now.

"That's so corny, I wanna gag! you creep!" 

I lurve you.

 

Day 06: Something that excites you and fills you with joy.

- My family
- My nephews
- Food
- Movies
- Music

.... like my general answers do you?

1. the feeling you get in a move theater  right before a movie you have been waiting to see starts and the lights go dark inside
2. when the waiter places the delicious Tom Yum soup in front of me, nice and steamy
3. Seeing my mom and dad
4. Spending time with my sisters
5. when Adam tells me he loves me in his sweet little baby voice
6. when Kevin tells me he loves me.
    "I love you Kevin!"
    " Not possible, I love you most!" <3
7. when Matthew tells me he loves me
8. when Brandon tells me he loves me
9. when people tell me they love me! hahahah
10. the feeling of lying in bed after a long day with the lights off and I can't help but sink further into MANY blankets
11. sad songs make me happy
12. pj's
13. feeling like I did the best I could on something and having that be recognized
14. target
15. spending time with my best friends
16. days off from school
17. waking up late at my parent's house and having them wake me up for breakfast....probably the only time I can think of where I feel like I eat breakfast the way it should be eaten
18. my Macbook-Pro
19. MUSIC. I won't even go into which artists
20. sleeping makes me SUPER happy
21. Finding a movie I like on HBO right when it is about to start
22. SHOWERS <3
23. Food
24. I know I am forgetting some.....

I could go on and on.

Guess my life is pretty excting and joyful...for me at least.

& that's what counts. :]

-D

"You're disappointed, aren't you?"

"I'm okay now."

"Are you?"

"I think so."

"How do you really feel?"

It is nice to be able to talk to someone for a while; someone that holds no bias against anything you do or say but is so genuine and you know only wishes the best for you.

It's been a while since I've last spoken with my school counselor, probably since January. 

First she was too busy too see me with incoming students then registration came around and then spring break and AP's and missed appointments and finally, after a quick run-in in the office we settled for lunch today. 

It's funny because for a while I ignored any feelings of disappointment I might have had previously.  I was done with that phase and more than ready to move on. 

The end of the year was looking bright and the things in store for me seemed pretty good too.

I go about my day with my own small feelings of disappointment because there are some that you can't just bear to rid yourself of no matter how hard you try.

It's not a constant reminder but it's there and as this year comes to a close it becomes more and more apparent to me.

"why did I do this" "I should have never done that" "what was the point of doing this?"

I have felt this way for a while.

Unconsciously I was feeding into it everyday but conciously I tried to rid myself of such feelings.

So when I walked into my counselor's office today I went in with a happy smile ready to let her know how despite everything I was happy, excited-  ready to tell her I couldn't wait for what awaited me. 

That lasted about 1 minute. She knew me well. 

It wasn't long before  my eyes watered and I told her everything. 

How hard I tried, how mad I was at the outcome and how I couldn't begin to fathom what I had done wrong.

"I keep thinking over and over what went wrong and I can't pin point it. That's what bothers me most."

She couldn't understand it either. She was shocked and in a way that brought me a small sense of peace. 

Okay, maybe I didn't do something wrong...maybe it was force beyond my control.

She seemed to understand everything that was going on and what amazed me most was that she understood me.

Not almost-18-year-old Daisy, graduating high school and off to college and unhappy with the way things happened.

She understood DAISY. ME. 

the out of school version of me.

and let me tell you, boy was that nice. 

I realized that I was making myself feel something I didn't want to feel. 

I didn't WANT to feed on such emotions but there is only so much you can mask. 

admitting disappointment isn't always a bad thing. 

I expected the meeting to last about 15 min. 

It was close to an hour.

It was so refreshing to get so many things off my chest. 

worries I had.

insecurities I felt.

concerns about leaving home.

my plan during and after college.

I noticed that as I spoke to her about my plans, my goals and my achievements I consciously tried to be more positive about things. 

She understood the way I felt and for the first time I had someone make me feel like it was okay to be upset and not have to pretend to feel otherwise. 

For those 45 min I was able to simply feel the way I felt. 

I didn't have to worry about sparing the feelings of others.

Saying the right things.

Making the choices that would best benefit everyone.

I spoke what I felt, what I wanted to do and laid it out all on the table.

and man, did that feel good.

I've been so blessed to have her to talk do during my high school years. She is one of the sweetest most genuine people I know and when I look back at my time in high school, leaving her will probably be one of the things that hurts me the most.

Thank God for email!

-D

Random Dream!

hahah if Maria reads this, she already knows about this said dream.

It's not uncommon for me to dream of little kids but I've never really had a dream of me taking care of one, as my own.

Last night I had a dream that I had somehow 'inherited' a newborn baby boy.  He wasn't mine but I had assumed sole responsibility for him and for countless moments I was entirely awestruck by his small size. I remember in the dream I was myself, an older version of myself of myself  but living the life I live now.

I was living with my parents, and had moved into what is currently my parents bedroom. I remember I was sitting in a chair by the window and I was holding this said little boy that didn't have a name and I wasn't entirely sure whose he was but I had decided he would be mine.

I remember my mom walking into the room and letting me know how she was happy I had taken responsibility for the little newborn because who knows what type of life he would have had without me. I remember I was going out in this dream and my mom would watch him and everyone was happy with the situation which is VERY weird because had this situation been real that would not at all be the ambiance hahahha

So anyway, I was sitting by the window and I was holding the little newborn in my arms and I remember gazing down at him and taking in his features and I couldn't get over his small size. I remember I fed him and held him there for a while before I put him on the bed and decided to change him.

He was small, smaller than the size of a normal newborn and believe me, having 4 nephews, I'm pretty in tune with the typical size of newborns. I remember I was trying to dress him and he would curl up into a little ball and roll over and I was so surprised a newborn was rolling around, something that shouldn't happen until later on.


Eventually I woke up and needless to say I was weirded out by such a dream so I googled the meaning.

I looked up BABY. FEEDING A BABY. CHANGING A BABY. HOLDING A BABY.

A lot of the searches that came up were strange and related to parent's to be or a new beginning or bad luck if the baby was strange in appearance.

My said baby wasn't weird looking, pretty cute if I could remember and the dream wasn't 'bad' per say, it was pretty calming in nature.

I spent a while looking and looking until I found a meaning that certainly took me by surprise.

"Good things will be at your grasp. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you need to be careful in who you confide in"

"Old dream interpretation books say that feeding a baby is a symbol of great things to come following an extended period of hard work."

HMMMMM. Weird no? I certainly thought so!

-D 

Stress, Stress, Stress Go Away, Don't come back until I say...

I'm recovering from fried brain.

These past two weeks were super stressful and I'm just now remembering how it feels to go about a day not having to worry about studying for the damn test tomorrow.

I tried to do the darn writing challange and I just had no way of posting one everyday.
I thought it would be easy but it's a lot harder than it sounds!

So. Since I want to continue doing it and my days should be a lot better now that AP's are done with, I'll just post one whenever I get on. I won't be posting one per weekday, rather one for everytime I get on and have a chance to make one. Make sense?

so post 4 might be today, May 13th but post 5 may be on the 16th....

Hey, at least I'm trying to keep up with this thing! I can't give up  on it now!

btw. I don't think I  have mentioned my plans about college on here or anything so I guess that maybe...since this was the original point of making this blog...I should talk about it! what do you think?

I've decided to attend: CSU FULLERTON

In all honesty, I didn't think I would like it but I actually do. It's smells like my mom's back yard so that's comforting :)

It's big but not too big. I'll probably, hopefully be dorming there in the new dorms opening up for the first time this fall for at least the first year. We'll see how it goes. I'm pretty darn excited.

About a month or two ago...maybe three, Olga took me to see the campus and bought  me a sweater and it's already getting faded and worn out. OOPS. :D

I was considering San Fransisco but now that I think about it, that's too far!
Being the first time I'm actually away from home I think Fullerton is a good enough distance away and it's not intimidatingly huge like all the other public schools- which was the sole reason why I didn't want to go a UC all that much, not for under-grad at least.

ANYWHO.
I'm going to get off and hit the town :P
I'll see when I get around to another post.

TAH!
-D

Day 05: Something in life that gives you balance

being alone.

I come from a big family and we are typically always with each other, calling each other...


Sometimes we call  just see what's new even though we called like...an hour ago.

I find that the moments that serve me best, especially when I'm stressed or worked up about something are the times that I'm alone.
I love being able to just sit and reflect on myself, what's going on in my life and finding the best way to go about things.

I'm typically a person who would prefer to be alone anyway so it only makes sense I feel at balance then.

That's not to say I don't enjoy time with my family and my friends, because I do. I cherish moments with them, even the most insignificant ones that seem so pointless now but can get a good laugh out of me months later.

Anyway, point of the post is that I feel I am most at balance when I am alone. When I have time to myself to reflect and really analyze the situations at hand and myself thoroughly.

Time to sit in the comfort of my bed with no interruptions listening to my favorite music...what could be better?


-D

p.s.
If there are any TYPOS I'm sorry. I am extremely tired as I write this

Day 04: Something that is part of your routine that you enjoy (MONDAY)

Hmm. I really enjoy taking showers late at night.

I've never rreally been one to shower early. I guess it's okay but by the end of the day the shower seems pretty pointless to me.

I can't really even say WHY or what about late night showers I enjoy specifically.

It's all part of my screwed up daily schedule. 

Yes,  I know. My hours are WAY OFF and need to be fixed.

My typical bedtime is around 12 am give or take.

I love being in the shower late at night when everyone is sleeping and the lights are dim and I'm sleepy and ....I just find it so relaxing. 

I get out of the shower and dry me hair and knock out like a baby and it's AMAZING.

late night hair drying session.

Day 03: Something with which you struggle.

- making pancakes
- being more patient with people 
- zoning out all unnecessary stress
- taking in the simple things in life
- making the most of what I have
- sticking to a diet
- going to the gym 3 times a week
- drinking water all the time
- running
- controlling my mexican candy intake
- going to mass every sunday
- going to sleep early (i.e 11pm constitutes as early for me)

......I'll refrain from posting more ...

So I still look like a semi decent person :)

Day 02: Something you regret not having done last year {Saturday}

I wish I had been smarter about where I applied for college  and covered more safeties and not been so confident with all the hot shots, especially because times have gotten tough and I should have taken that into account.

That's probably one big regret I have but really that would fall into LAST YEAR so...hm.

I don't really have anything that I regret I haven't done. As of now, I'm pretty content with the way things have gone and I've come to terms with the ways things are and how they turned out.

I'm done with thinking of things I should have done because when you really think about it, dwelling on all you DIDN'T do gets you no where and you only end up feeling bad about yourself for being a total loser and not having done anything.

SO!

 In turn, what are you happy you DID do this year?