I think it definitely has to do with the fact I great up in a household where I was the youngest. My sisters were in their late teens, early twenties and my brother was 16. I grew up with many "mom and dad" like figures and I think that has a lot to do with the way I am today. Each holds certain expectations and treats you a certain why and honestly, how can you live with many adults without at some point acting like one also?
I've learned to embrace who I am as a person, my personality and my likes. I don't feel like I need to be another way to satisfy the way of others. Those who know me well know who I am and how I am and I'm definitely not the type to change for anyone.
However, I would like to be a little more...free.
You know when you feel this...loose feeling? when you're so comfortable you could do whatever, whenever and not care who is watching? I'd like to be like that...to some extent.
Sometimes I feel like I have this weight on me. I imagine it, but I can feel it. When I want to do something that's a bit to crazy for my standards I can feel it weighing me down, preventing me from doing so. I think if I was a little more 'free' I'd have a lot more fun.
That's not to say I don't have fun now because I do, it would just be a different type of fun.
I hope to change this as I go off to college. It's a new setting. New people. I hope to grow out of it and really make the effort to change-to some extent.
I would also like to learn to make GOOD PANCAKES.
Something so insignificant yet is bothers me so much.
How can I NOT know how to make a good pancake?!
am I that much of a loser!?
-D
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